Thursday, August 30, 2012

"Day 7" More News...

So I got another call today from Dr. B's - the second biopsy came back andonce again there is good news and bad news.

Bad news is that the second biopsy came back as Melanoma

Good news is that it is stage 0

Bad news is that she doesn't feel comfortable doing the surgery herselfsince it will be a bigger incision and more invasive procedure.

Good news is that I probably won't have surgery on our anniversary

Bad news is I don't know timing and things are up in the air.

I go back tomorrow so she can re-check other moles - as she thought this wasjust a precautionary one...and it came back not good. So now that the incisionwill be bigger she wants to check to see if there are others in the path.

I think this is the first time my heart started to feel fluttery in my chest- for lack of a better metaphor.

I started to think about how we will tell the kids - and then I started to write a letter to their teachers...I think that helped calm me a bit and re-group. Tomorrow is another day. We still don't know anything - one step at a time.

In the meantime I got a text from my friend JSM whowas diagnosed a year ago with Stage 4 Breast Cancer – that is already in herliver and bones. She is now 33 and has 17 month old twins (she was diagnosed at32 with 5 month old twins). She asked if we could take the boys overnight soshe and her husband could go to a B&B. I didn’t want to tell her about me.I am trying to put things in perspective, this is so nothing compared to her,but I needed her to know I wouldn’t be able to lift the boys…though we haveenough people in the house that could help. I probably shouldn’t have told her.But I did – casually. But then I felt really selfish. One of those things I will play over again and again in my head. Time to move on....

one step at a time.


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